U. F. FLO.

Get it? Not just "not dead" :P. I took a really long break from Dreamwidth and blogging in general because I needed it. Now that I'm finally starting to get a handle on my anxiety, I decided I wanted to try this again.

I've done a bit of circle and access pruning, and I might go on to do some more. I'm going to try not to stress about random journal-related things. I'm going to see if posting semi-regularly makes me happy; if it doesn't, I'll probably just go back to lurking and commenting occasionally.

I've missed it here :)

This year, actually have one! It's simple but hard. It's to stop doing things I don't want to do.

I don't expect that I will meet it. I'm so deeply in the habit of ignoring my own feelings about a task or goal I have set myself that I doubt my record will even hold out for a month. I was always the good girl growing up, the one who did as she was told, and even thought I've cut tied with my family and gotten clear of the toxic atmosphere with them, I'm still in the habit of making myself do things I don't want to do.

It's made it really hard to have fun or to buckle down on tasks that are actually important to me. It's like I have a limit, and have been pushing it so long that I can easily break apart at any time, in this very toddleresque bundle of "NO. I won't!" When even fun stuff feels like a chore, you know it's time to reevaluate.

Now, I'm finally in a place where I know that. Sort of. Theoretically. It's a bittersweet feeling, knowing that there's no one that can tell you what to do anymore, no one besides yourself.

I hope I can at least remember my resolution. Even if I don't meet it, I want to know that I tried, and know why I failed.

I'm about to polish up a monster post on my experience with e-publishing the short story I mentioned the other day, but first.

- *hugs dreamwidth points* I'm so glad it's easy to transfer these! Now I can have some paid time on here.

- *hugs iPad* You would not believe how much I'm on this thing. Last night, I read through volumes 5-23 of Hikaru no Go (am I bleary-eyed? YES), and I still have 5-6 volumes of other manga waiting for me. I almost dread the day when manga publishers and translators wise up and start shipping to the Kindle at reasonable prices...there goes my future money ;_;

- Just finished reading Cold Fire by Kate Elliott, the sequel to Cold Magic from last year. Frankly, the slow start, rambly and confusing sentences and disjointed plot had me wondering what was up on the author's end, and whether I'd just not noticed how bad the first book was because of my entrancement with her awesomely arrogant cockscomb POC hero and kickass heroine. Then again, I did enjoy it overall, and am curious to see how she wraps things up in the last one, so it wasn't a loss.

- Am recovering from all the bombshells dropped at this year's Blizzcon. PANDAS IN MY GAME? POKEPETS IN MY GAME? The nerdrage everywhere is hilariously over the top, even though the announcements held something for everyone. Leet dungeons for leet raiders, with leet cosmetic gear and better-than-you achieves and leaderboards! PVE scenarios for the terrible dps who just want some VP! Dailies for the terrible casuals who don't even want to queue for VP! And then they'll also have new talent systems for the druids and warlocks who were weeping for their classes, with meh trees for the usual scapegoat classes (paladins ;_;), plus panda pokewow to make all the casual haters quit.

I have to admit, I side-eyed the Pandaria announcement, and I doubt the new race will not be faily or ridiculous in some way. And I am going to rage SO HARD if the female model ends up being the same catastrophe as the female worgen model from cata. But as soon as my love affair with SWTOR is over (hubby and I are pre-ordering and probably playing for at least three months)...that one-year WoW subscription shall be mine.

- I feel weird ending this on such a WoW note. But I have no serious!writer news, except that I'm still working on the godforsaken edit that's eaten the last couple months, so that's it.

So Mr. Flo and I ran out of television to watch a while ago. All our shows were on hiatus, and everything that was on sucked. Worse, he was on holiday, and we wanted to sit around being lazy together! Whatever did we do?

Netflix, for the most part, with a dash of Hulu. We devoured all of Samurai Champloo and Fullmetal Alchemist (the first edition)-- neither of which we'd seen before-- and also went on a bit of an anime sampling rampage. We tried Mushi-shi (ugh), Death Note (meh), Hikaru no Go (no), Samurai 7 (eh), and Gurren Lagan (confusing). We made it into the second volume of Moribito before giving up because things were going so...fucking...slow. And I tried Fruits Basket (so-so) and Eden of the East (bleh) on my own.

I used to think I just went with the flow with my siblings when we borrowed and rented movies way back when. We saw mostly the ones that were popular at the time, generic action movies and so forth, and I guess I liked them more than I thought? Because when I look at my movie-watching history and compare it with what I've liked in anime as well, it's not exactly this trend of *deeply emotional and profound*. I've got some of that in there, i.e. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Band's Visit and so forth. But overall, I think I like lots of action.

And romance. Obviously. I went trawling through torachan's recs, and ZOMG Love Catalog! And Koukou Debut!!!!! I'm currently nearing the end of Kimi ni Todoke, and wondering if Hana Yori Dango is going to be on the same level-- it looks like it's one of those where the guy is a massive jerk, and I'm just so not there if that's the case.

Last word: 13 Samurai (h/t an ooold movie rec post I can't find by yeloson). SERIOUSLY.

The REAL last word: I completely forgot about the Hulu part of this-- Misfits! I can't wait for the next season to come out, even though I know they're probably going to flub the solution/explanation of Nikki's death. They better at least TRY to provide one, or I'm going to be pissed.